Shamblesed

1987 in Busan, South Korea

October 18
Sunday again. To the base and back. This week was busy. Class on Saturday. I didn't see Young-sook once. I saw her tonight. She is rad but she doesn't love me. She is too worried about some other guy. I was just a passing thrill. Brian told me he is going home. He isn't on a contract like me so it's no big deal. I might die here but there is no honest way out except to tell Mr. Shin I am leaving and go. I got a letter from Loaf and Jeff. They love each other. Did Young-sook ever love me?! Referring to what she said to me last week, I asked her about it and she said, "So, what about it"? At least I have my book to read.

October 22
Referring to the question above: the answer is "no." I am convinced that I must leave here soon. Brian will leave in about 2 weeks. He told Mr. Shin. He was pissed, but what can he do about it? It's cold. I can't even stand the sight of Mr. Shin. My head spins for my worries.

October 28
I'm writing so sporadically. Twins won the World Series. I must jam. Tomorrow lunch with Mr. Shin. I wonder what he'll say when I tell him I'm leaving. I'll go home with no money. I am shamblesed.

3 comments:

bug254 said...

what a great word: "shamblesed"

"...He isn't on a contract like me so it's no big deal..." wow. just wow.

It seems like this Young-sook really did a number on you. At the time, was she the reason why you wanted to leave? How long had you been living in Busan at the time? six months?

White Rice said...

Hi Bug-

Thanks for reading and commenting.
Please tell me more about what is behind your "wow. just wow" comment. Feel free to judge.

Everything at that time involved cash under the table; I didn't even have a college degree but I did have a teaching Visa (as I wrote here before). As for Brian, the plan was to get him over first and then get a contract in place. He had every intention of doing so. However, he had a lady back home with stronger pull so that never happened. (He married her and they are still in wedded bliss.)

As to your questions: October 1987 marked six months in country. My contract was for a full year.

As my brother likes to say: "Hindsight is 50/50." That makes we want to think my journal was more dramatic than reality. I certainly dug on Young-sook, but there were other options. I don't recall that being any part of why I wanted to leave. More on those reasons later (wink wink).

bug254 said...

you have a flair for the dramatic and I appreciate it. This journey is by far the best online read I've had since a little thing called wikipedia.

my "wow" comment comes from the sheer ease of the program back in the day. To put it in perspective, I just sent my documents to Korea today to secure a public teaching gig in Seoul. I just graduated with a ESL/Special Education degree and I have been jumping through hoops to get this gig since before graduation. Your friend who just casually came and went makes me green with envy.

no judging goes into this journal. Actually, I am extremely curious about the events after November 1987. There's so much story left to tell. What about marriage? Finishing college? Graduate studies? Life in America? Kids? How does it all involve Korea?

until then, I wait patiently ^^